he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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