You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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