If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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