Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
