i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
