Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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