I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
