so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
