You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
