so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
