Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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