Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am available for nakedness
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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