good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
