please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
