I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
