you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
