Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
