I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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