I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
