I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Porn is love you can see.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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