if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
