some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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