yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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