I must be too annoying 4 u.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
