I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Are my feet made of real feet?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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