I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
