yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize