My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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