The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize