I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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