I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize