Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My pussy is not your playground.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
