my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
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I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
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I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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