We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
