gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
