need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
