): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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