i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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