I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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