you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
