Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
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