Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
