it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
