is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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