in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
