where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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