please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like a drive thru vagina
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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