I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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