just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
