we're blogging at a bar
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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