Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize