were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
