Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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