Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize