I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
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