please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How does it feel to date your dad?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
