I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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