He asked to "fluff my boner.."
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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