Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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