Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize
