he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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