he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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