I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
